soc.veterans

The Gospel of Derk that is called Nerkel

6:3-19

3: And it was the time of the draught and the people of the Land came
to Jesus and saith, "Lord we haveth not enough water to fill the Land
and our crops may not grow."

4: And Jesus saith to them, "Oh ye of little faith have not the crops
grown before? Did not the rain fallth from the sky at the prescribed
time?"

5: And the people lookth to the sky and then lookth again to the face
of Jesus and saith, "Lord behold there be not one cloud in the sky,
how then will the rain cometh?"

6: And Jesus perceived their doubting and unsurity seeing they lacked
faith and saith unto them, "Bring to me four Hajj, five Muktars and
seven Mullahs and one Rabbi."

7: And so the people departh in search of the Hajj, Muktars, Mullahs
and Rabbi at the dusk of night.

8: And lo and behold the people returnth in an egged bus with the
Hajj, Muktars, Mullahs but the Rabbi driveth his own car.

9: And Jesus said, "Hajj, Muktars and Mullahs why doth thou not seeth
rain?" And the Hajj, Muktars and Mullahs lookth upon one another and
walkth into the Mosque of Farly that is know as the Chuck you Farly
Mosque. And they began to pee on each other and jackth-off. Then
after defiling themselves they existed the Mosque and said to Jesus,
"We maketh rain in the Mosque."

10: And Jesus knowing their wickedness caste 3,279.4 demons from the
Hajj, Muktars and Mullahs into the bosoms of an crocodiles at Hamet
Gader. And sendth the Hajj, Muktars and Mullahs back to their
villages.

11: And Jesus seeing the Rabbi that is a Jew saith unto him, "Rabbi
saith thou thee the prayer for rain."

12: And the Rabbi being an observant Jew saith the prayer for rain and
behold clouds appearth in the sky above.

13: And Jesus seeth the joy in the Rabbi's face saith, "Now go further
and doeth the will of your Father that is in heaven."

14: And immediately the Rabbi driveth his car to Ben Gurion Airport
and seeth a plane with chemicals to seed the clouds and saith to the
pilot, "My Lord has sent me to thy Lord and behold there be-th clouds
in the sky, may I rideth in the plane with thee so that we may spread
chemical seed upon the clouds so that we may seeth rain and this
draught be over?"

15: And the pilot being a Son of Israel saith, "I will taketh thee
with me but first we must eat swarmah with hummos just the way Israel
Avinu would like it."

16: And the Rabbi and the Pilot eat-th swarmah and hummus just the way
Israel Avinu would like it and were satisfied and blessed The God of
Israel for the Land and for the Food and also for Well Being and good
health.

17: Afterwards the Rabbi and the Pilot flew into the clouds and seeded
them such so that rain would fall upon all of Eretz Israel.

18: And lo and behold it began to rain, and the people looked to Jesus
and began to sing and dance and they not one had sense to cometh out
of the rain.

19: And Jesus saith to them, "Lo tarry here no longer for be it so now
we not tramp mud into a dwelling." So Jesus and the people went into
the caves near Jerusalem and built fires and cooked lambs and made
matzah for the Pesach.

In the Name of the Father and the Son and into the hole he goes.

Dave Allen on his introduction to religion.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxo81Ok9Urk&feature=related
Dave Allen on Adam and Eve
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCOZQSRzKmU
An Irish funeral!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kLTbvjqF6Y
DAVE ALLEN ON PARENTING AND KIDS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRs--SBN4pA&feature=related
Dave Allen on the Vagaries of the English Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IfoUM6a4bA&feature=related
Dave Allen on STRESS, DISCIPLINE & NIGHT FEARS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjU6TtLCWzc&feature=related
Dave Allen on...EYESIGHT & MEMORY LOSS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uapf_RiDSrQ&feature=related
Dave Allen - Telling the time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS5P6GcUC4s&feature=related
Dave Allen - Haunted house
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeNDkxnz2V0&feature=related
Dave Allen - I'm NOT reliant to Alcohol !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBXSn7R091Y&feature=related

Dave Allen - Practice Makes Perfect
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivHcGZ0Pkao&feature=related
Dave Allen - The Peak Load of Masculine Pride
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ctSQ7apvkc&feature=related
Dave Allen - The Princess Who Never Laughed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq0B_tMnpQ4&feature=related
Dave Allen on...FARTS BOOBS & LIPOSUCTION
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up7QTxDc0PE&feature=related
Dave Allen On...VERBAL INDICATORS on CARS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PinfbvkbwZk
Dave Allen On...MAKING LOVE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDnDyjWSH4Y&feature=related
Dave Allen on...LIFTS (ELEVATORS)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPP8nMsPQwQ&feature=related
Dave Allen on...BANKS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5y_gE1Rb1Y&feature=related
Dave Allen on...GETTING DIRECTIONS & TALKING CARS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuBdY87wS34&NR=1
Dave Allen on...STRESS in the BATHROOM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1_fGMczdxM
Parkinson BBC Dave Allen 80s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_SizPdguCU
Dave Allen on DOCTORS & SMOKERS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79yV8h8XReI
Dave Allen - Clock Incident!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uouDt_LQTy0